Here's a list of shows from the past. Or go back to upcoming shows. Tuesday, November 4th: Hauler, Shamelady, Rapid Fire Process, Morse Code Heartbeat @ Solid State, 624 E Burnside, Portland OR. All ages, $5, 7pm

Whenever we play at Solid State, we're generally horrible. Oddly, I think we were actually decent at this show. Since we don't have a van, I had to ride my bike to show (5 miles in the cold) and I missed all but 3 minutes of Hauler, who I was really interested in seeing. Apparently they were really freaking good. Shamelady was great, Rapid Fire Process were rockin too.

Saturday, October 25th: Morse Code Heartbeat, Evening at the Black House + more TBA @ 5266 NE 15th Ave (at Killingsworth), Portland OR. All ages, free, 8pm

Whoa. Free keg of good beer and Alan are a bad combo. After much delay and hesitation, and missing drums, we played a drunken set. RC and Ollie split soon after, leaving the keg, the naked clowns, and the "What's Up Your Ass?!?" contest. Apparently I was involved in a lot of wrestling and other shenanigans.

Friday, 10/17/03: Morse Code Heartbeat, Jonny X and the Groadies, Silentist, Compact 56, Keenwild @ The Vertigo Gallery, Vancouver WA. All ages, $5, 7pm.

I think our band is completely falling apart. In a good way though. Whenever we play a show these days, we have to call up all our friends and beg them to loan us any combination of: vehicles, drums, bass amps and guitar amps. We might as well just have someone else play our freaking songs. For this show we borrowed: two cars to haul our "equipment", one bass amp, one bass cabinet, one guitar cabinet, one snare stand, one snare drum (without asking... ooops!), another snare stand after the first one broke, and one rack tom. Someone really needs to buy us a van (one that works this time...) and an endless supply of drum hardware.

Saturday, 8/30/03: Morse Code Heartbeat, the Unit Breed + Tex Fritter @ The Danger Zone, Portland, OR. All ages, FREE, 6pm.

This was our little "end of tour" party. We had a bbq, drank heavily, and hung out with the crusty squatter kids who showed up at 3pm like a scene out of Suburbia.

Thursday, 8/28/03: Morse Code Heartbeat, El Buzzard (San Jose), Countdown to Life + Rhythm of 84 @ The Vertigo Gallery, Vancouver WA. $4, 8pm, all ages. El Buzzard is freaking good, download some songs from their website.

This is a great new all ages space in Vancouver. Its a tattoo parlor/music venue, pretty big too. The whole show was rockin, I don't think the kids got into El Buzzard too much though because they don't dress all that hip.

Wednesday, 8/27/03: Morse Code Heartbeat, the Unit Breed + The Show is a Rainbow @ Ozone Records, 7th and E Burnside, Portland, OR. All ages, FREE, 6pm.

This was supposed to be the "last show" of the tour, but we ended up tacking another Portland show on the end, because Joe showed up with the van like three hours late so each band only got to play a couple songs. The Show is a Rainbow was really fun, just one dude singing over a pre-recorded CD. Comparisons to Atom and His Package are unavoidable, but TSIAR was more dancy and fun.

Monday, 7/14/03: Morse Code Heartbeat, the Unit Breed, Dear Diary I Seem to Be Dead + Mustapha Mond @ Nocturnal, 1800 E Burnside, Portland, OR, all ages, $5, 7pm. This is our "tour sendoff" show, so come say goodbye!

This was one heck of a sendoff show. Dear Diary and Mustapha Mond were both awesome. Lots of friends showed up and good times were had by all.

Thursday, 6/12/03: Himsa, Countdown to Life, 2 Men Dead, Morse Code Heartbeat @ The Meow Meow, Portland, OR, all ages, $7, 7pm.

Wow. We hadn't played a show in a while, and we've been busy with getting the recording done and saving money for tour, so there hasn't been a ton of practicing. And it showed. Big time! We always seem a little awkward up on a real stage, especially when there are all these lights on us and uncomfortable silence inbetween songs. So I'll usually try to steal a mic and start talking all retarded, sometimes that works out OK and sometimes it fails miserably. This night I dedicated our set to this guy who died a couple days earlier in a tragic boating accident, and I don't think that really helped make the mood "cheery" at all. Way to go Alan!

Friday, 5/2/03: End This Week With Knives (Canada), Physical Challenge (Corvallis), Morse Code Heartbeat, TBA @ The Corral, Eugene, OR, all ages, $5, 6:30pm. Directions are here.

So yeah, this show didn't happen. Good thing, because we couldn't have made it out there even if it did! Darn you, broken $300 van!

Thursday, 5/1/03: End This Week With Knives (Canada), Nihilist, Morse Code Heartbeat, 2 Men Dead, Rhythm of 84 @ Solidstate, 624 E Burnside, Portland, OR, all ages, $5, 8pm. Directions are here.

End this Week With Knives ended up cancelling, so we had four local bands for $6. Oh yeah, it was $6. Now, I hate to gripe about something as inconsequential as $1, but really, if you're having a show with four local bands, it shouldn't be more than $5. But that's just me and my annoyingly elitist punk rock attitude. Well, and like five of my friends who showed up and said "$6?!?! To see your crappy band? Screw that, I'm going home." I should find some new friends...

Saturday, 4/26/03: MANDATORY METAL NIGHT! w/ Playing Enemy, Morse Code Heartbeat, Nihilist, Shamelady @ Satyricon, 125 NW 6th Ave, Portland, OR, 21+, $5, 9pm. Your attendance is apparently MANDATORY, as this night is MANDATORY METAL night.

Now, I have a little bone to pick with mandatory metal night. See, we like to think that we're pretty freakin metal, but really, most any metal dude could kick the crap out of any of us. And all of the bands that played tonight were really good, but only one person (Jayson from Nihilist) from any of the bands has a haircut that could in any way be considered "metal". I was hoping for some serious headbanging, maybe a few mustaches, and a lot of spilled beer. With exception of Jayson, and the staff at the Satyricon, who are very metal in their own right, the crowd was very un-metal. However we did get offered many illicit drugs by audience members, including Pamprin, so maybe that was what they meant by mandatory metal?

Thursday, 4/24/03: Pikadori, Morse Code Heartbeat, They Found My Naked Corpse Face Down in the Snow @ 5921 N Albina (at Ainsworth), Portland, OR, all ages, $4, 7pm. This is a benefit for arrested Critical Mass riders, so bring some extra cash.

Its really refreshing to show up at a house show where there are tables full of zines, books and oh yeah, awesome vegan food for sale. Almost everyone was wandering around with a smile on their face, and Pikadori, a band from Pittsburgh, were really, really good. Its nice when people will stick around to see a touring band just because they're a touring band, even though no one had heard them before.

Friday, 4/18/03: Morse Code Heartbeat, Undead Zombie Music Orchestra, S.H.A.T., USA is a Monster, Hit Me Back, Spring Break @ The Danger Zone, Portland, OR, all ages, free, 7pm.

So we didn't plan on playing this show, but we were kinda drunk, and the Undead Zombie Music Orchestra was going to be a little late, so we offered to hop on the bill to fill up some time and keep people from leaving before the zombies arrived. Well, the zombies didn't arrive until around 2am, but thankfully we stopped playing around 11pm, but not before someone ripped down a heater duct, and beer was spilled all over the floor where the kids were doing pushups. Really, that's my new favorite hardcore dance, when the kids are rockin out and then they jump on the floor and start doing pushups. I want to see more of that at our shows, OK?

Saturday, 4/5/03: Orchi Bort, Enter the Race, Morse Code Heartbeat, Compact 56, Academy @ The Domino Room, Bend, OR, all ages, $5, 7pm. Directions are here.

I don't know if you ever noticed, but there's a big ol' mountain between Portland and Bend. I didn't know that, and we certainly weren't expecting to run into a snowstorm on the way to the show. Snowstorms aren't cool, dude. Actually, they are. I somehow missed seeing any snow this whole year, so I was excited to drive in a comfy SUV through the mountains at high speeds while catching snow on my tongue through the sunroof. The rest of the band, however, were not so lucky, as they were driving in Eryn's old Volvo. Volvos are pretty tough, but if you've got RC, Ollie and Matt in one vehicle, you know for sure you're gonna end up losing control and flying off the road. Thankfully, no one was hurt and the Volvo escaped unharmed as well. They pushed it out of the snowdrift and somehow made it all the way to good ol Bend.

I sometimes get sick of the awkward "inbetween song silence" that we are well-known for, so I opted to annoy the audience and band with many annoying stories about mittens, mountains and I don't know what the heck else. They were not amused. Remember, under no circumstances should Alan be given a microphone.

After the show we raged hard at the Orchi Bort house. I'm a grumpy old man though, so I wimped out and got a hotel room and slept well. 8 people sleeping in the living room of a 2 bedroom house just didn't really appeal to me that night, and it looked like there would be many drinking games, tobacco chewing and yelpin and hollerin. The next morning I showed up and there was evidence of all three activities. The Orchi Bort kids are real nice, thanks for letting us stay.

Friday, 4/4/03: Alex, Please Step Out of the Vehicle, No Red Flags, Morse Code Heartbeat @ The C. Ubick Residence, Portland, OR

I don't know when the last time I've been in a house so full of smoke. I was feeling a little sick before going, but when I walked out the door I had this intense cough that is still here a week later. Every hour or so someone would walk in the door with a couple more cases of PABST, yet it seemed the fridge was always empty. You know that's the sign of a good party.

Friday, 3/21/03: Inked in Blood, Lum, Time Stood Still, Fighting Jacks, Morse Code Heartbeat @ Solidstate, 624 E Burnside, Portland, OR, all ages, $?, ?pm. More info coming soon.

We managed somehow to get ol' $300 van running like a, well, like a dried up little creek, which was good enough to get our crappy equipment across town to this show. This was the day after the war started and I think everyone was still in a bit of daze of disbelief over that. Turns out one of the bands (Fighting Jacks) were from San Jose, and I'm from San Jose, so we shot the shit a bit. We took off early because RC was feeling sick and we had a few friends visiting from out of town who desperately wanted to play a game of Catan.

Tuesday, 3/18/03: Curlupanddie, Nihilist, Since By Man, Morse Code Heartbeat @ The Meow Meow, 527 SE Pine St, Portand, OR, 8pm, all ages, $7.

We're not used to playing on stages with lights and fancy PAs and room to move around. It was fun but I think you could probably tell we were all a little out of our element. The show was really good though, I thought Since By Man were just fantastic. We suckered Jamesed By Bees into driving us down there, since ol' $300 van still doesn't actually work. Gah.

Saturday 3/8/03: Jonny X and The Groadies, Teen Cthulhu (Seattle), Unit Breed (California), Samus Aran, Morse Code Heartbeat @ 1339 NE Roselawn, Portland, OR, 6pm, all ages, free.

Holy cow was this show fun. If you missed it, well, that's actually probably for the better because the house was packed to the gills. The Unit Breed and Teen Cthulhu both battered and smashed things and made the whole crowd cry in bewilderment. JonnyX, what the heck can you say about that? They ruled so hard that the blew the circuit breaker twice.

Saturday 2/15/03: Love Songs (CA, New Disorder), Morse Code Heartbeat, Samus Aran and Half Rounded Bastard File @ Heather's House O' Humpin', 3558 SE Morrison, Portland, OR, 6pm, all ages.

Due to much confusion and bewilderment, we showed up about 2 hours late, and Ollie and Matt didn't even show up until 9:40, which was 20 minutes from when the event needed to be over. Things had been running late as it was, so we played a rather brisk and refreshing three song set. Love Songs know how to rock it hard, and they did indeed rock it hard. Strangely, only about 10 people witnessed the hard rocking sounds of Love Songs, but so it goes.

Saturday 1/25/03: Orchi Bort, Tesseract, Morse Code Heartbeat, another band with a long name that I forgot @ Musichead, Medford, OR, 7pm, all ages.


and...

Friday 1/24/03: Orchi Bort, Tesseract, Morse Code Heartbeat, TBA @ Evo's Java House, Ashland, OR, 7pm, all ages.


Ashland is about 5 hours south of Portland, and since our $374 van can't even make it onto the freeway, we had to sucker our good friend Pete into driving us down. Surprisingly, he agreed, but then a couple days before the show it became apparent that his van transmission was on the brink of self-destruction, so we were looking at the possibility of a very long walk to Ashland. Then, RC somehow went and got a job, which meant we certainly couldn't take off at noon on a Friday. Thankfully, he got fired on his first day, and Joel graciously offered to drive us down south if we bought some anti-freeze for his van. Things were looking up. We cram into the supervan, which has ample room for six people plus a dog, and hit the freeway. We're free. On the road again. Well, its our first trip out of Portland, so just on the road, no again. We're generally in high spirits until we pull into Ashland six hours later and find out the show had been cancelled. Oops.

The other bands arrive shortly after us, and we hit the town trying to find some kids who will let us play in their house. It seems futile so Joel and I find a bar and drink our sorrows away. A few minutes later four teenage girls show up and offer to let us play in their dad's abandoned barn. Sounds good to me. We trek out there, and play in front of four teenage girls and the other two bands. There was hay in the corner, and saddles on the walls. I was expecting A) for the cops to show up at any minute and arrest Joel and I for being old fogeys hanging out with drunk teenagers, and B) for the whole barn to catch on fire because people were smoking cigarettes right on top of the hay. Strangely, neither bad thing happened, we had fun, and RC and I jammed "Chain" by Fleetwood Mac between every song. I don't think anyone there had a clue what it was. We also attempted to play "Clash City Rockers" (you know, by the Clash...) but I don't think anyone in the barn had ever heard of the Clash. Strange, definitely strange. Being that sleeping in an abandoned open-air barn didn't seem like a great idea, we found a hotel and slipped into slumberland in style.

Since the Ashland show fell through, Orchi Bort asked us to jump on this bill with them. Fine by me. We met a guy with SUNN tattoos on his arms, you know that guy rules. We made $17 off the door and rocked the hizouse! Boo yah. The show was in a record store that had an incredible Blue Oyster Cult selection, but the guy wanted $5 for each album. $5? For Blue Oyster Cult? I put my records back, but convinced Jason to purchase a copy of Fleetwood Mac's Rumours, which everyone knows is an amazing, amazing album.



Shows before this have conveniently been stricken from our memory. Oops.